Rabbits Are Freaking Metal

“An Urban Legend That Affects Me.”

Multiple urban legends that affect me are carnivorous rabbits, super intelligent squirrels, and monkeys with lighters. These are not the everyday ordinary urban legends. These are my own worst paranoid fears and dreams. That’s what makes them so urban. The reason they are legends because I say so. They are my ideal fears and dreams after all. How cool would it be to have a rabbit that eats dolphin flesh? Also, a squirrel that can respond to orders and lob the occasional hand grenade would be freaking sweet! Though, a monkey with a lighter may not be as cool as they can still burn pants and their fur…toasted monkey. All in all, the man with the radioactive rubber pants will rule these legends.

>> It might help if I knew what urban meant. Oh well, I was lazy and didn’t feel like looking it up. Besides, if I did then we wouldn’t have this way cool journal. Ok, it isn’t that cool, but I still like it. Though, monkeys didn’t get a cool advantage because I really don’t like them…wait, that’s chimpanzees, still their ugly little buggers. Does anyone know where I can find radioactive rubber pants, preferably in a size that fits? Also, the non-killing radioactive ness would be good.